Day 1461 and counting
Today is December 2, 2010. Exactly 4 years to the day after I smoked my last cigarette.
So, just as I have done for the last 2 years, I'm copying the post below from another blog that I don't keep up on anymore.
It's my own personal reminder of how awesome it is everyday that I have quit.
On December 2, 2006 @ 2pm I smoked my last cigarette down to the filter in Wendover, NV at the Montego Bay Casino and left the rest of the pack of Marlboro 100 Light Menthol on the slot machine by the front entrance.
I killed an old friend that day. We were great friends. We had been through a rough life together. She was always there for me when I needed her and she always made me feel better. We enjoyed each others company when nobody else was available or when nobody else cared. We spent lots of time in the freezing cold ...spending lots of good time.
Only after reading Allen Carr's book "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking" did I realize that this was no friend. She had been stealing money from me for years and would have eventually seen to it that I died a slow and suffering death to leave my wife and children without me. Had I not seen the light, I would have followed her willingly to the cold, hard ground.
I don't need that bitch anymore. I have new friends now. Friends who allow me to make my own decisions and don't make me feel guilty when I don't pay attention to them. Friends who love me for who I am not for what I do. I don't have to answer to her anymore.
I have true freedom.
I hate her now. Why did she do this to me for so long with the guise of being such a good friend?
I observe daily the shackle she had on me and how I served her. She stole hundreds of dollars from me and made people think that I was weak. She has affected my relationship with my parents and I even lied for her on many occasions for years and years. I would never lie for anyone except her.
I have true freedom every time I go to the airport and I no longer have to worry about how many more times my old friend and I could meet before boarding. I have more time to enjoy a cup of coffee before getting on the plane. People no longer have to be sickened by the stench of her smell on me while I sit too close for comfort in cramped airplane seats. She is no longer waiting for me when I get off the plane begging me to stand outside and waste time when I could be doing something else, anything else. I do as I wish now, not as she wishes me to.
My God, I can only hope that I have enough time left in my short live to fix what I have done to myself before it is too late.
May she never Rest In Peace but instead burn in hell forever for ambushing her next 15 year old victim who may not have the courage to be able to write just such an entry by their 31st birthday after 16 years of guilt and deception.
There was no tracking in this blog this time. No record of the misperception of sacrifice that I was left with. After killing her dead before she killed me, I can now sleep at night knowing that I have prevailed.
I have found true freedom.
This might be the last entry in this blog that I started over a year ago.
Leave me a message if you want some support to "kill" your "best friend" or if you already have, I'd love to hear about it.
Quitting is hard ...but worth it.
