My battery died last week. I fixed it today

Read on if want to know how it happened and your attention span is longer than 140 characters.

A few weeks ago I jumped in my car to go to work and the car wouldn't start. It wouldn't even try to start, it just made a clicking sound. I remembered from the 2002 Honda Accord that I used to have that some newer cars won't even try to start unless the battery has a minimal charge. A light must have been left on or something so I hooked it up to my battery charger. As soon as I did that I saw that the needle was all the way to one side. This was alarming since I was sure it was the battery.

So now, if it wasnt the battery, it must be the starter. This was more than I was willing to do in my own driveway on a Monday morning. I found my warranty paperwork and called the dealer to see if it was covered. They said bring it in and if it was, in fact, the starter it would most likely be covered under warranty. I pushed the car down the driveway and had my wife drive my truck to tow me to the dealership. As she towed me it was hot in the car as the sun started to rise over the mountains. I tried to roll down the window and it was so slow and then the hazards stopped working.

This was a good thing and a bad thing. Good because now I think its the battery again and not the starter. Bad because I dragged my wife out of bed at the crack of dawn and she is now towing me down the road. I called her and told her to pull over at the auto parts store coming up on the right. I said: "I'm going to buy some jumper cables ...don't ask." She had asked before me if I was sure it wasn't the battery. "Of course I'm sure, why would I ask you to get up and tow the car if I wasn't sure?" Now I wasn't too sure.

I bought a good pair of jumper cables, hooked up the car to the truck and it started right up. Go figure.

I still had no idea why the battery died or why the charger read full. I later found out that what I had read as FULL was actually reading EMPTY or taking a charge on the battery charger. I was pissed off and late for work so I misread it being so flustered. We can all laugh about it now.

Which brings us to last Wednesday. We went to see the Salt Lake Bees baseball game downtown with my brother and his wife. Great game even fireworks afterward. We headed to the parking lot at about 11:00pm.

As I went to start the car and drive my wife and children home safely all I got was the dumb click again. Oh crap.

I quickly called my brother and asked him if would kindly turn around and give me a jump. He said "of course", no big deal we would be on the road in no time. He promptly came back and nosed his car to mine and we lifted the hood and I grabbed my brand spanking new jumper cables from the trunk. We popped the hoods and I hooked the cables to the PT cruiser and then we looked under the hood of his car. At this point I should tell you that my brother drives a Toyota Prius. As we opened the hood we both just looked at this sea of plastic and scratched our heads... How do you jump start a car with a Prius? We located the owners manual that stated that the 12V battery was actually in the trunk and then 2 or 3 pages of warnings of something about "Don't screw this up or you will have to buy your brother a new car" Okay, it doesnt really say that but that's what I was thinking as I read warning after warning.

My brother's business was 7 blocks away where he had his NORMAL INTERNAL COMBUSTION engine Toyota Corolla parked. He said he would go grab the Corolla and we could jump it with that. I'm sure as soon as we did that we would be on the road in no time.

Now it's about 11:30pm. The parking lot is slowing clearing out and I feel like I am surrounded by homeless zombies downtown. This is not good.

My brother came back about 15 minutes later and we hooked up the PT Cruiser to the Corolla and tried to jump it.

Nothing. Not even clicks now.

I thought maybe it just needed to take a bit of charge from the Corolla before it would start. We waited for a bit and tried again. Nothing. It must be that the Corolla and its cute, little, normal, internal combustion engine couldnt push enough magic juice to the PT Cruiser to start it. Mark said that some of his friends were still at the shop working on an all-nighter for a deadline and had a Ford Explorer that might do the trick. This was the next best idea since my Ford F150 had jumped it no problemo remember? right?

Darin and John showed up minutes later in his Ford Explorer. They nosed up to the PT Cruiser but Darin didnt get out. He asked if John could come around and hold the brake since the parking brake didnt work. I am forever grateful to these guys for leaving their work to come help me. I just thought that the brake thing was funny since I have definately owned my share of clunkers in the past.

We hooked my car to Darin's Explorer and let it 'juice up' or whatever it does for a few minutes then tried to start it. Nothing. ARRGGHHH. Maybe we should let it charge for a while longer... so we did. Just then Darin reported that his Explorer was now overheating .......oh no

My brother and I agreed that it would be best to get my family home (40 minutes away) and we could come back with my truck (40 minutes back) and tow the car to his shop 7 blocks away. I told Darin and John thanks so much for trying and we were off.

Now its about 12:15am.

Mark gave my family a ride home and we jumped in my truck and headed back. Hooked it up and ...nothing. We towed it to his shop, secured it in his garage and hooked it up to my battery charger.

I got home at 2:30am. I left for work the next morning at 7 .........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

It sat on the charger all night and Mark tried it again the next morning. Nothing. I could hear him trying as he talked to me on the phone ...nothing. I could have thrown my phone across the room.

I hit the net and read page after page saying that batteries in PT Cruisers suck and their connections suck even worse. I would replace the battery myself and pray that it works.

This morning I rounded up my wife and kids and we headed to Mark's shop. We bought a battery on the way.

Long story short: I hate the PT Cruiser. It was never meant to be my daily driver. It was supposed to be my wife's cute car and I had my truck. Then I got a job with a 78 mile daily commute and the gas became rediculous. So here I sit in that dumb car. < /rant >

The battery in a Chrysler PT Cruiser is buried under the air cleaner. If you ever want to jump start one of these things, I suggest saving some time and bypassing the terminals that they give you and just pop off the air filter and jump directly from the battery.

I took the old battery out and noticed that the termials were very corroded. I had come this far, no reason not to proceed with replacing the battery anyhow. I also tested the old battery and it read 13.6V so the battery itself was probably fine. It was the crap connections being so corroded that was probably the problem (both times).

I cleaned the terminals properly and added some felt washers and anti-corrosive spray to the new battery. I sat down in the drivers seat crossed my fingers, crossed my toes, did a hail mary and turned the key ...and it started right up.

Anyway, that's what I've been doing since last Wednesday. What a pain.

Also, I bought a battery jump-pack today. There is no good time to buy one of these until it's too late and you need it. Even today as I forked out $48 for it, it still seemed like I might get by without it. Just wait until I make my next post about how it saved my life. That post will be a lot shorter and have a much happier ending.

And, of course what project wouldn't be complete without a boring time lapse of the whole thing.